Despite the typical scare tactics of high school teachers and ACT prep courses, I never doubted that I would graduate from college. I’m lucky to say there was never a moment strenuous enough to make me think I wouldn’t finish the journey.

Now does the library still have camera footage of me cramming for organic chemistry at 3 AM?

Yes.

Did some classes have me crying in the corner of the bookstore?

Yes.

Did I have to pull some all-nighters?

Of course.

It was hard but it never felt impossible. I figured, millions of people have done this before me, millions are doing it right now, and none of them have two heads. Why wouldn’t I? Failed exam or not, I will walk across that stage. It’s just going to happen. I went straight from my last final exam to the mall to pick up my graduation dress. The test scores would figure themselves out.

Graduation day came, and I saw some students crying, some jumping into the school fountain, and some planning the biggest party night of their lives. Then there was me, happy nonetheless but wondering what all the hype was about. Everyone around me was celebrating and caught up with emotion, and I was…underwhelmed. I felt an immediate sense of relief from coursework and stress, and I was proud of myself for accomplishing the goal, but it didn’t give me the fulfillment I was looking for. I’m now two degrees in, and I wonder if I’ve found what will.

Years ago, my solution to this problem would be simple. Just get another degree. I was preparing to do just that until it dawned on me that whatever I was looking for may not be in another degree. If I’m putting all the factors into my happiness formula – school, internship, job, better job, big city – but still coming up short, it isn’t the right formula for me. Maybe my true fulfillment would come from personal goals that would never make it to my resume or LinkedIn profile.

I certainly had a list of goals that were patiently waiting on the back burner until I finished the “important” stuff: the degrees, the job, the network building, and the years of experience. My personal goals were important to me and probably necessary for my development, but they never felt as essential as education and career. If it didn’t come with a pay raise, a certificate of completion, or an added job skill, it didn’t get any real attention from me…until the burnout.

By the time I made it to my first serious job, I found myself running out of fuel. I worked so hard to get to that position, only to get there and wonder “is there more?” In the midst of it all crashing down, my mind was free to consider a new path. What would life look like if I put the same effort into the things I actually care about? I was determined to find out.

As the sun rose on my next day off, I knew my chance had come. I decided to follow where my passion was leading me, even if it was a small step.

Time to write.

I pulled out my laptop and prepared my workstation like I would for any other real task. I figured if I can stay up for 24 straight hours for a theory final, I can at least sit up straight for this. Four hours + 3 cups of tea + overthinking + a few breaks led me to my first article. I sent it to my favorite publication and closed my laptop.

The relief of finally putting one of my ideas on paper was surpassed only by the joy of finding out that it was accepted. My favorite publication published my very first article. I was stunned.

For me, this was the win worthy of celebration. This was my reason to jump into the fountain and cry, because this win was mine. The congratulatory messages fell on good ground for the first time in a long time. I finally understood the hype.

Finding what you want and going after it is the only battle worth fighting and the only way to true fulfillment. Accomplishments will always feel underwhelming if they are not specific to you and your journey. The “wins” we truly want may not be of value to an employer or the world, but they are of value to us, and that is reason enough to pursue them. Each time we stretch to accomplish a goal, we grow deeper into our true identity, revealing our depth and discovering our journey.

So maybe you’re like me, and getting the degree or job didn’t feel like the win you were expecting. Maybe your battle is getting in shape, having a conversation, or exploring a passion. Whatever it is, it’s your responsibility to identify and overcome the things that challenge you. Growth begins when we push past the usual and strive for what we truly desire.